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Friday 19 May 2017

Scorpion Season 3: The Full Collection

SCORPION SEASON 3: THE FULL COLLECTION, EPISODES 1-25


Scorpion - 3x01 "Civil War" & 3x02 "More Civil War"

"Hackers demonstrate their abilities when they take control of two F-130 fighter planes, before cyberjacking destroyers at strategic points around the country. Finally, they shut down nuclear silos, leaving America defenceless."

Of just two two-part premieres this season, Scorpion's is definitely the better. Not only does it follow a simple, escalating storyline straight across two episodes rather than have two logical follow-on plots, but that escalation allowed for the stakes to rise again and again across a packed 80 minutes.
   It was high-octane, as from the get-go there was either a critical national threat to contend with, or our team of geniuses trying to deal with their failing relationships. Quintis (Toby Curtis and Happy Quinn) is slightly more on than Waige (Walter and Paige) which, with Paige's interest in Tim unfortunately overspilling into season 3, is currently definitely off. But Toby's attempts to uncover Happy's husband's name, and Walter's horrific methods of separating Paige and Tim, made for entertaining sidelines to the overall storyline - and some typically ill-timed one-liners.
   The biggest niggle I had was Sly's capture by Bulgarian gangsters: it was way too convenient for my liking that one of the boss's henchmen would be skimming from him, a realisation which gave Sly time to escape. Because beyond that, the premiere was pretty much flawless.
   VIEWERS: 8.30m (Adjusted down nearly 10% from first to final ratings, but still solid)
   DEMOGRAPHIC SHARE: 1.5 (Similarly, Scorpion lost 3/10ths of a point in final adjustments to 1.5, a less shiny figure)

VERDICT: Thrilling, witty and full of MacGyver-esque solutions to impossible problems. A great premiere that sets the tone for the season to come. 8.5/10

Scorpion - 3x03 "It Isn't The Fall That Kills You"

"Scorpion are hired by their sometime-contractor Richard Elia to fix deficiencies in a rocket design he purchased from Walter that his techs altered, but things go wrong when a lightning strike launches the rocket with Walter inside."

L-R: Toby, Sylvester (Sly) and Walter practising yoga
before the mission
An all-round fantastic episode with a massive Waige (Walter and Paige) focus. When Walter is trapped in the rocket in space with depleting oxygen, he hallucinates Paige and, eventually, the real one is called upon back on Earth to talk to the hallucinating Walter to coax him into actions that will save him. The huge Waige focus has to foreshadow that something will happen soon, so Paige needs to break up with Tim (it's time for Tim to leave) to create the space for that to happen. Naturally, however, a spanner was thrown into the works when amnesia caused by hypoxia meant Walter couldn't remember admitting his love in hallucinations - but plenty of fans won't wait forever now the heat is being turned up.
   Bringing Walter safely down from space of all places was a neat and entertaining plotline full of nutritious trivia about the atmosphere and physics, but the circumstances that sent him up there in the first place were written poorly. With Walter in a rocket a storm hits, but there's barely a second before lightning comes out of nowhere and strikes the rocket too. Given that the episode was unusually short at barely 39 minutes, an extra 30-45 seconds of build up to the lightning strike would have helped: the sudden leap just jarred.
   VIEWERS: 8.05m (Series low overnights by a large margin. It appears as if Scorpion will struggle in the 10pm slot, but all other shows around it struggled too. Perhaps this isn't currently a worry)
   DEMOGRAPHIC SHARE: 1.3 (Statistically average and good for a 10pm slot. Rosier after the series low overnights figure)

VERDICT: Everything the fans wanted to see: a continually high-adrenaline episode filled with Waige. 8/10

Scorpion - 3x04 "Little Boy Lost"

"Scorpion must track a young boy with autism lost in the city after he crosses paths with a mercenary."

Joshua Leonard as Mark Collins
With "Little Boy Lost", the writers managed to take out the deadweight for a while and bring together the team that we knew and love in a better manner than the rest of the season so far. Tim's only appearance was in the beginning of the episode before he left for a Homeland surveillance conference, meaning in his absence (and with the storyline fixed upon a friend of Ralph's [Paige's son] who suffers non-verbal autism) Ralph got to shine. And it worked: the friendship between Ralph and the autistic boy Daniel highlighted everything about accepting people who are different - which has been part of the show's USP from the start. The way in which the mercenaries got onto Daniel (when Daniel accidentally preempted a dead drop they had planned) and followed him was flawless, but the real shining light of the episode was how sensitively and accurately the writers portrayed autism. It was a well-addressed depiction of sufferers and for those of us who do not comprehend the struggles of autism it was eye-opening.
   Elsewhere, the episode dropped some huge clangers character-wise. Not only did Toby's hunt for the identity of Happy's husband lead to a cameo appearance from ex-Scorpion lunatic Mark Collins, but when Toby figured out Collins' mysterious riddle ("The water doesn't lie still, but the water still lies. Add fifty and your answer will be revealed") we got one hell of a shock: the Roman numeral for fifty is L - add L to water and you get -
   Walter.
   He married Happy six years ago to get his green card. Clever riddle, stunning reveal. But it was topped by Happy revealing she needed a divorce because she needed to marry Toby - because she was pregnant. This will be a contentious issue in the upcoming episodes and it's going to be superb.
   VIEWERS: 7.15m (Up from the previous week, leaving Scorpion's ratings hanging between a respectable 7-8.5m so far)
   DEMOGRAPHIC SHARE: 1.3 (Average, but good for a 10pm slot)

VERDICT: Practically flawless with a great cameo from Joshua Leonard as Mark Collins. Terrific writing. 9/10


Scorpion - 3x05 "Plight at the Museum"

"Scorpion are hired by a museum to discover why mould is growing quickly on a one-of-a-kind piece, but are quickly sidetracked when thieves break in to extract a rare metal from another piece for use in building a dirty bomb."

Following the explosive reveal that Happy and Walter were legally married, "Plight at the Museum" depicted Toby's shock, his demands they expedite Walter's citizenship so he can divorce her, and his over-protective new-dad-to-be behaviour, all constructed around a high-intensity plot where they are locked unarmed in a museum with gun-toting thieves.
   It was as intense in both areas as you would expect it to be. Scorpion offered nothing dramatic or creative with its obstacles (Toby forgetting a compound to regenerate the lost areas affected by mould, for example), but it didn't need to. The focus was so heavily on Toby's reaction to the news. Walter and Happy deciding to expedite Walter's citizenship (in order to divorce and have Walter legally able to remain in America), is leading to a longer arc that has brought in an angry, unswerving citizenship lawyer - and Walter and Happy to have to learn each other's behaviours by spending as much time in each other's company as possible, much to Toby's dismay. I don't think Scorpion would let Walter lose his citizenship (or maybe they would and would have an arc similar to the manner of Castle's private investigator one [where Castle was forced out of his position as a civilian consultant and got his PI licence before eventually being allowed back]), so I'll just enjoy the humourous sides of this (so far) well-thought-out arc.
   VIEWERS: 7.03m (No concerns)
   DEMOGRAPHIC SHARE: 1.2 (Just below average; still no concerns)

VERDICT: Funny, clever, the museum was a great setting, Tim didn't feature and Ralph made a cameo at the end. Great episode. 8/10


Scorpion - 3x06 "Bat Poop Crazy"

"On Hallowe'en night, Scorpion must travel to a cave in Arizona to prevent a bout of White Nose Syndrome killing the local bat population. Happy is left home to look after Ralph."

When I realised the episode was actually going to be about bats, I snickered at the title. Good work, writers.
Sly deathly afraid of bats
   And it was pretty good. It wasn't one of Scorpion's best ever episodes, but it was a fun way to distract the audience from all the Hallowe'en stuff that spread a full 8 minutes at the end. Scorpion had to map the cave layout, rescue two zoologists infected with rabies and release a toxin that would cure the WNS. It was all achieved fairly simply, with the usual hiccups along the way including the accidental releasing of the toxin way too early, overly aggressive bats and Sly's germophobic nature frightening him at every turn. Happy staying behind left someone to monitor the cave mapping remotely, and also gave an excuse for her to practise her mothering skills by looking after sugar-hungry Ralph. There was no Tim (not even a mention until the end, but he'll be back next episode), and Happy and Walter's divorce lawyer turned up to continue verifying their marriage was indeed legitimate, only to discover a clue in the staged scene that suggested they were in fact lying.
   All in all, there's very little to criticise. It wasn't a waste of an episode, but it wasn't anything exceptional either. It just did its job adequately, and that's better than leaving an audience feeling shortchanged.
   VIEWERS: 7.14m (Stable around this 7m mark is a good position for the show)
   DEMOGRAPHIC SHARE: 1.4 (A nice shoot upwards)

VERDICT: It came, we saw. There was no conquering, but that didn't matter. 7.5/10


Scorpion - 3x07 "We're Gonna Need a Bigger Vote"

"For the first time, only one system will collate all the US's Presidential election voting data, but when the system is hacked and 90% of votes are removed, Scorpion are called on to fix the election."

Toby causing a distraction on TV
Could there have been a more relevant topic this week than a Presidential election? In an episode which sidelined Walter due to suspicions of citizenship fraud, saw Tim return and took the Scorpion team around LA under the noses of their FBI handlers, the team identified the hackers as men from the Chinese consulate. Their motive? "The World Court is about to make a decision about a new Arctic shipping route. Due to rising temperatures, ice-breaking vessels will soon be able to traverse directly over the North Pole." That's 20% shorter than the current route, and the World Court won't give that route to China without a stable leader. The consulate's plan is foiled - barely - when Cabe gets the hackers' laptop out of the consulate and onto American soil just in time. It's a huge episode focusing on a huge and, on this week of all weeks, immensely relevant topic, and it was done perfectly.
   But the rest of the plots were good too. Although the return of Tim advanced his and Paige's relationship and saw Walter receive a cutting remark from Ralph (seriously, that kid tore him to shreds with a single sentence and it was terrific), Happy's pregnancy was debunked as a false positive due to cadmium poisoning from the solar panels she worked on recently (an unforeseen twist that saddens me but works as a plot device), Walter's citizenship was granted by the President and Toby then proposed to Happy - who without hesitation said yes. Bar Paige's relationship with Tim, this hilarious episode had everything fans wanted.
   VIEWERS: 6.92m
   DEMOGRAPHIC SHARE: 1.1
   (No issues with either rating)

VERDICT: Supremely well-timed. Terrific plot twists set to change the team dynamics throughout, most damningly between Walter and Ralph. 9/10

Scorpion - 3x08 "Sly and the Family Stone"

"The Scorpion team travel to Ireland for the anniversary of Megan's death, but a nearby lake brimming with carbon dioxide threatens to explode and kill everyone in the village."

Carbon dioxide explodes from the lake
Walter's return to his family in Ireland dredges up a lot of bad blood. Not just between him and his family, but the kids who used to bully him at school (who haven't quite grown out of it yet), while his jealousy over Paige and Tim's relationship also comes to a head. All of these, along with how Toby is becoming a more Paige-like emotional counterweight for Walter, Walter's continuous transition from one crazy invention to the next, and the fact that Sly is closer to Walter's own family than he is (Sly commits to weekly video chats with the O'Brien seniors), highlight just how detached Walter has become from the group since Megan's death and Paige's relationship began. In fact, so does just how little of a factor Megan was in this episode. It's a sad state of affairs, but at least in some ways the air is cleared.
   No pun intended, after a failed attempt to clear the carbon dioxide from the lake spewed a cloud of CO2 over the village that could have killed everyone without Walter and Tim's timely teamwork. He had better not stay long though just because they've made up. #Waige needs to get going.
   Meanwhile, Happy pushes for a quick wedding while Toby tries to convince her it needs to be elaborate and well-planned. I think they'll meet somewhere in the middle and the end of season 3 will see their wedding and #Waige get underway. That's my hope anyway, but for now it's a good starting point.
   VIEWERS: 7.17m
   DEMOGRAPHIC SHARE: 1.2
   (Both tick up)

VERDICT: A decent episode, but nothing really more can be said than that. 7/10

Scorpion - 3x09 "Mother Load"

"Paige's mother Veronica calls Scorpion to help her when she finds a nuclear device in a building she is holding a secret meeting."

Did somebody say "strained relationship between main character and main character's previously unseen, unmentioned or unheard of parent"? Sounds like shit parent mythology to me!
   OK, so it wasn't all bad - but there's a lot to be said for bringing in parents because it has to be done right. Scorpion has struggled to get it right in the past (Ken Fahey playing Sylvester's dad was an atrocious casting choice), although the strain between Walter and his parents was at least plausible. Veronica Dineen shows up in "Mother Load" full of lies about what she's doing, how she has the items she has and where she's been the past few years (for example, her "gated community in Arizona" transpired to be "Arizona State Penitentiary for Women"), and Toby, as group psych, gets caught in between Paige's anger and Veronica's attempts to reconnect. Typical shit parent mythology - although Toby's awkwardness was hilarious.
   Scorpion also managed to showcase its long-evident Castle-esque skill for identifying one main character trait and sticking with it: today, Sylvester's love for war games (his arc of running for Senate in a virtual game became a to-the-streets signature campaign), and his love for the comic hero Super Fun Guy becomes, in the end, the only way Scorpion can safely get rid of the nuclear device - by using a giant Super Fun Guy balloon to fly it out over the ocean and neutralise it. I just love the image, too. It's very upbeat and victorious.
   Elsewhere, Cabe's potential love interest turned out to be played by Reiko Aylesworth (good casting choice), in an episode that shifted the emphasis from the uncomfortable will-they-won't-they of #Waige that is seeping some of the watchability from the third season.
   VIEWERS: 7.07m
   DEMOGRAPHIC SHARE: 1.2
   (Identical demo share, viewers down barely from 7.17m)

VERDICT: The twists and turns in Scorpion episodes are becoming predictable; throw an SPM (shit parent mythology) in there as well and you get a very underwhelming episode that therefore makes its character consistencies look brilliant. 6.5/10

Scorpion - 3x10 "This is the Pits"

"A woman crashes her car into the La Brea Tar Pits and Walter risks his life to save her."

Scorpion played to its strengths with "This is the Pits", which was hugely reminiscent of season 1's "Dominoes", where a young child is trapped in a sinkhole at a beach and Walter has to go in alone to rescue him. And "Dominoes" (season 1 episode 12) is one of the show's best to date; the same simple format two seasons on led to "This is the Pits", which is arguably the best episode of a third season mired in quality-draining relationship angst.
Walter making his way through the murky tar pits
   I might usually argue that the trope of someone needing to be rescued from a crashed car underwater is a tired trope, but having that crashed car submerged in a tar pit was a wonderful way to subvert it. (I'm now aware after this episode that) tar pits are even more dangerous than simply water, and it showed in the episode's bittersweet resolution: even though the woman was saved, burns from the tar will have done some permanent damage. Scorpion, usually so upbeat with its saved-the-day conclusions, benefited from this type of resolution (even if it tried to lie to us about it).
   But to get there required numerous obstacles to be beaten: first a burn-resistant suit was needed for Walter, then the stuck car couldn't be lifted out, oxygen kept depleting in the car, both Walter and the woman received burns to exposed body parts, Walter's oxygen tank got accidentally ripped away ... and so on. But all of that was stuff that couldn't have been done in just water, so the improvisation on navigating a dangerous tar pit was actually very interesting.
   The tease of Tim leaving, after being honourably discharged from the Navy following a severe back injury, remained only a tease after he decided to stay and do good with Scorpion. I'm not happy with this and plenty of others won't be either - but I've heard a little rumour we might be much happier after next week!
   VIEWERS: 6.98m
   DEMOGRAPHIC SHARE: 1.1
   (Both tick down slightly)

VERDICT: A superb parallel to one of Scorpion's best episodes at a point in the show when it was needed. 9/10

Scorpion - 3x11 "Wreck the Halls"

"Scorpion head to a cabin in the woods for a Christmas weekend, but come across gunrunners. Meanwhile, things between Walter and Tim come to a head."

Scorpion has always had a bit of a boner for the "relaxing-group-getaway-oh-look-now-there's-a-case-of-the-week" trope, and "Wreck the Halls" was another perfect example. But it was actually one of the better examples. The gunrunning plot itself was condensed nicely into the middle 25 minutes, leaving close to another 20 spare for character building, something else Scorpion is not averse to doing (although this was quite an extreme).
   Either side of (and during) the gunrunning plot, which had enough twists and turns and culminated in the actually-not-an-ATF-agent kidnapping Ralph and trying to escape, there were some great scenes. Happy's reluctantly helping Sly with his campaign to be President on his online game was hilarious, Cabe built a grandfatherly bond with Ralph and Toby had his unsatisfied need for reassurance from Happy met when she gave him an "Attaboy!" key fob, which would shout the praise every time he pressed the button. But the best scene of all was Walter and Tim's confrontation while the Scorpion team were building their Home Alone-esque traps.
Happy is unhappy with her elf outfit
   The Tim and Paige relationship had been heating up recently, as had the Tim and Walter beef, and in Tim's final episode it all came to a head. Tim called Walter's attempts at disrupting his and Paige's relationship "pathetic", so Walter told him he never liked Tim; Tim said Walter never made him feel welcome, so Walter told him he never wanted him here and he wasn't a real member of the team. Every insult had an instant emotional effect on both men, until Paige intervened. And in the end, Tim decided to leave the team. I should give the episode a high score just for that! Good riddance!
   VIEWERS: 7.45m
   DEMOGRAPHIC SHARE: 1.2
   (Both tick up nicely)

VERDICT: Every character got a good Christmas plot wrapped around a short case-of-the-week storyline and it all just came together very smoothly. Goodbye Tim. 8.5/10

Scorpion - 3x12 "Ice Ca-Cabes"

"The Scorpion team attend to a broken generator in the desert, but when it explodes shrapnel endangers Cabe's life - and the only way to save him becomes to kill him."

Walter and Paige collect hydrogen sulphur from a nudist spring
A criticism you could level at general procedurals is that we know they're going to solve the case and catch the bad guy at the end of the episode, barring any seasonal arcs that are being implemented, but we as the audience watch to try and crack the case ourselves. That is not the case in such shows when characters are endangered, because 99 times out of 100 that danger is never going to actually represent a threat to a main character. So when Scorpion put Cabe on the edge of death for an entire episode it wasted 40 minutes.
   OK, so it didn't waste 40 minutes. There were some good character moments: Walter and Paige's awkwardness after Tim's controversial departure, Cabe being unable to recognise when a woman is flirting with him and the return of Toby's outfit fetish. But the main chunk of the plot, which was the threat to Cabe's life that required uber-extremes to save, had no emotional weight because the show wasn't going to chop a fan favourite character.
   VIEWERS: 7.37m
   DEMOGRAPHIC SHARE: 1.2
   (Both hovering nicely in respectable areas)

VERDICT: The main plot served no purpose and had no weight. At least the character moments were good, and it was very funny too. 6/10

Scorpion - 3x13 "Faux Money Maux Problems"

"The Scorpion team are kidnapped and coerced into creating counterfeit dollars."

"Faux Money Maux Problems" made up an entirely new country to pass off a storyline that involved a President's sister kidnapping Scorpion and forcing them to create counterfeit bills that would flood the American market and obliterate the value of the dollar. Pretty good storyline, especially when the twist involves diplomatic immunity and the fact that Scorpion hadn't actually left American soil as believed.
   But the execution was dicey.
   Toby and Happy, who headed to a winery without their two-faced kidnapping escort, were positioned well to launch a rescue mission, but instead took a back seat and simply decoded a key fob. A crucial key fob in the end, but they did nothing of any practical value to save their friends. That was all Veronica, Paige's mother, whose defining traits are that she is a bad mother but a good spin doctor and can name drop way too many ridiculous titles of con schemes.
   There was a shining light of character development, however. Toby and Happy's trip to the winery helped them decide on a wedding venue and reveal secrets that they had been hiding (Toby still owed gambling debts to an unseen Bruno and Happy hoarded rare car parts). And Walter was taught the value of appreciating other people's opinions by introducing a conch that would allow people to voice them, but in the end he understood that sometimes to solve the problem not everyone can be involved in the decision-making. And from that, Paige took the decision to step back (after her years of nurturing Walter's emotional understanding) and allow him time to sink or swim alone. (Some residual anger for Tim's departure also playing into this decision, methinks?)
   Plus, I'm pretty sure Veronica is making up most of these con names (the hell is a Kentucky Two-Step?)
   VIEWERS: 7.69m
   DEMOGRAPHIC SHARE: 1.2
   (Level)

VERDICT: Poor execution of a plot with fairly good twists. Scorpion's up-and-down third season again blows cold. 7/10

Scorpion - 3x14 "The Hole Truth"

"A sinkhole forms while Scorpion attempt to fix hundreds of micro-leaks which have formed in an important South California water pipe, threatening to topple a silo full of toxic chemicals."

Scorpion may be a bit topsy-turvy episode to episode, but the overall plan is being executed well. Paige's decision in the previous episode to let Walter sink or swim when it comes to interacting with normal people goes disastrously in "The Hole Truth", but it's timed well enough that the distance allows her to help her mother Veronica recover her stolen money and escape the bad guys who have come to LA looking for her. Veronica leaves with her characteristic verve, after making some very unsubtle hints that Walter and Paige still have feelings for each other.
   In the main plotline, Michael Beach turns up to play the Chief of the workforce dealing with the pipe. Although some obstacles along the way were typically contrived, most were genuinely troublesome progressions of a dire situation, partnered with some wonderfully inventive solutions. And it has to be said that for once I actually had my heart in my throat wondering what might happen to some of the characters.
   Revolving back round to Veronica's departure then, and it has to be said that the "make the bad guys believe she's dead so they'll go away" trick - while failing at all to convince me Veronica had died when she fell into the sinkhole - actually managed to trick the audience in some ways. While the way she survived was obvious (it was the same way they stopped the silo falling in: stretching safety nets across the gap), the flashback of Paige demanding Walter's help to pull it off was unexpected, since following his inability to communicate with normal people the writers made us believe Paige was actually pulling him aside for a telling-off.
   And it was also very funny, too.
   VIEWERS: 7.77m
   DEMOGRAPHIC SHARE: 1.3
   (Both tick up)

VERDICT: The departure of Veronica was cocooned around an episode that was just strong. Its main plot was excellent, its subplot with Walter was well-timed and well-executed - and Veronica left as well. This was the culmination of a half-season build-up and was superb. 9.5/10

Scorpion - 3x15 "Sharknerdo"

"Scorpion are hired to help locate a hidden treasure, but when Paige and Walter's boat suffers an electrical failure the team race to rescue them."

One of the best parts of Scorpion in any season is how it keeps even the little storylines pumping away. The entire reason for today's mission was that Walter, let loose by Paige to sink or swim when communicating with normal people, annoyed someone by correcting their grammar (suggesting it should be pronounced "one hundred nine thousand" rather than "one hundred and nine thousand", which he posits are separate figures) and lost the original case. Now down on funds, he accepts a sunken treasure hunt mission for a 5% share of the booty.
Cabe and Toby mutiny
   Of course, it all goes to hell when Walter and Paige's boat suffers an electrical fault and explodes, leaving them lost at sea without working comms and floating on a makeshift raft - while working out some of their underlying issues. And that was the catalyst for the structure of the plot: putting Walter and Paige in a position where they are alone and stressed and likely to argue about their current problems. But did it really need an entire episode devoted to reaching that goal? I'm not sure it did, which is a problem Scorpion has.
   Toby's childish love of pirates was a comic relief in a serious rescue plot, and his and Cabe's mutiny against the ship captain was brilliant. Sylvester's continuing campaign to become a Congressman of West Altadenia continued with the help of Cabe's love interest, and Toby's running gag of "save this and that outfit for our honeymoon" was nicely reversed when Happy demanded he save the pirate's hat for their honeymoon. All of which proves that when it comes down to it, Scorpion writers don't care if their characters are conventional - they're happy to string out decent, fantastical character arcs (ie Sylvester's campaign) because it's true to their characters. And that is why Scorpion excels even when it bogs itself down.
   And how about the way Americans pronounce "buoys"? "Boo-ees".
   VIEWERS: 7.71m
   DEMOGRAPHIC SHARE: 1.2

VERDICT: An entire episode devoted to fixing the Walter/Paige rift, and while it didn't need an entire episode it was a good catalyst and gave space for everyone else to grow. 8.5/10

Scorpion - 3x16 "Keep It In Check, Mate"

"Scorpion must rescue a CIA informant in Sardovia when the government's Enigma-like decryption key begins to reveal the names of traitors."

As Valentine's Day approached, Scorpion dealt with a mission to evacuate a CIA asset on their own in the fictional Sardovia. Needless to say, all did not go to plan. It's hard to make all the obstacles in a 40 minute episode feel organic, but by playing to the strengths and weaknesses of the competitive chess grandmasters Walter and Sylvester (who went undercover in a chess tournament to deliver the code word and evacuate Natalya Abelev), but "Keep It In Check, Mate" managed the feat. Walter and Sly's competitive streaks were front and centre as it became a battle over who would face Natalya which ended with neither winning because Sly messed up the board in his exuberant victory dance before the judges could check his win; Scorpion had to then get the next-in-line disqualified so Walter could take his place. It wasn't plain sailing, but it was funny, it really worked to show off the chemistry between the two characters and it was interesting.
Walter and Natalya compete
   Skipping to the C-plot: Ralph's struggle to work out which girl he should take to the Valentine's dance when asked by two separate girls was cute. He went to the geniuses for romantic guidance rather than his mum, though this mistake was corrected at the end as Paige excitedly agreed to teach Ralph to dance. I like Ralph sideplots. He's awesome.
   Unfortunately, what was that B-plot? Happy's dad Patrick was invited to the garage and then told by Cabe that he had to testify against a drug runner who had forced him to wipe cars' VIN numbers back when Patrick was drinking, but that he would still have to spend 2 years in prison. I don't see why it was at all necessary to have Patrick imprisoned (he wouldn't go through with Happy's plan to help him escape), although if the aftermath is handled right in the back end of the season I won't be able to deny the impact it will have on Happy. Speaking of which, Jadyn Wong absolutely sold the emotion as Happy watched her father processed and imprisoned. Supreme acting from an actress whose character never really shows much emotion at all.
   VIEWERS: 7.16m
   DEMOGRAPHIC SHARE: 1.2

VERDICT: "You beat the American like a dog!" shouted one Sardovian codebreaker, right before Natalya's name was decrypted. Kind of sums up the whole episode. 8/10

Scorpion - 3x17 "Dirty Seeds, Done Dirt Cheap"

"The Global Seed Vault in Finland experiences technical faults, and Scorpion are called in to fix it."

If ever there was a showcase for background world-building, Scorpion has continued to do it. Walter being barred from Fro-Yo Ma for offending the cashier was brought back as a punchline to Walter's attempts to interact more with normal people - resulting in the positive outcome that he is now allowed back. Meanwhile, Toby's pirate hat makes a comeback as he teaches Ralph about the war.
   This last point while the rest of the team fly to Finland to fix the Seed Vault which is overheating. Three pieces of equipment need to be fixed to complete this task, but the overheating causes a glitch that locks Cabe, Sly and Happy in, while the toxic effects of some of the seeds take them hostage, causing hallucinations of their worst fears. For Sly, it's chickens; for Cabe, it's the fear of growing old; for Happy, it's that she would be rejected. Sly's fear is appropriately underused as Cabe and Happy's provided much more substance and hilarity, with Ray, the fireman from season 2, returning to play a game show host in Cabe's hallucination who would continually make funny references to how old he was.
   But in helping them escape, Paige was also affected by the spores, and in a single hallucination her worst fear was revealed to be ... Walter with another woman? Eh? So Paige has a kid who she regularly puts near danger by hanging around the Scorpion team ... but her worst fear is Walter with another woman? That's fan pandering, faulty logic and poor story progression if ever I saw it.
   Sly's debate for alderman ends the episode, with him beating rival Patel quite considerably. I wonder where this arc goes next.
   VIEWERS: 7.14m
   DEMOGRAPHIC SHARE: 1.2

VERDICT: A substantive look into the characters' fears revealed a lot about them and where they were in life. Good insights, although Paige's brought the tone down a little. 8/10

Scorpion - 3x18 "Don't Burst My Bubble"

For this episode I completed a full-length roundup. Instead of posting the entire thing here, the link below will lead you to the review.

Scorpion - 3x19 "Monkey See, Monkey Poo"

"To stop a potential pandemic, Scorpion travel to the Amazon rainforest in search of a monkey believed to be immune to the virus."

I'll say it once again: reference arcs. Scorpion is just the best at it - but it's clearly also good at recurring characters. Penn Jillette returned for his third episode (and first since season 2) as counsellor Dr. Cecil Rizzuto, trying to counsel Toby and Happy whose bickering was reaching an all-time high. Thus he furnished them with the "Bicker Clicker", a machine Toby could use to track how often he was triggered by things Happy said; after reaching a record 131 clicks and still determined to be married, Dr. Rizzuto confirmed they were perfect for each other. It was heartwarming clarification and the means justified the ends - but the means were frigging hilarious!
Toby does a mating dance to attract the monkey
   Onto the monkey virus, and the episode actually didn't hold that much in the way of obstacles, merely things the team needed to do (like get a Wifi signal to track gun-wielding loggers) so they could freely retrieve the monkey. However, Simian Freud (as Toby named the monkey) was not actually immune, but its immune system had been bolstered by eating the fruit of the Von Von tree. Next, all Scorpion had to do was overcome the tarantulas that lived in the Von Von tree and then eat the fruits to survive. A cure could then be synthesised and spread to fight the pandemic. A light episode with almost no gun battles, and it was a good one too.
   Elsewhere, Sly fretted - as ever he does - over the bite from a caterpillar received in the new hydroponic garden he installed in Tim's office, while Paige struggled with Ralph's wanting a new haircut and Cabe continued to hurt after breaking up with Ally. Which led to another breakthrough moment: Walter recognising pain in another human and empathising. And as Toby happily points out to Paige, Walter can empathise with a broken heart because she broke his. Traction with #Waige! Yes!
   VIEWERS: 6.61m
   DEMOGRAPHIC SHARE: 1.1

VERDICT: Packed full of goodness and a decent plot to boot. 8.5/10


Scorpion - 3x20 "Broken Wind"

"Scorpion attempt to fix a turbine for the Department of Energy, but while testing their solution Paige and Happy are stuck in a gondola that threatens to fall."

Scorpion needs to take a step back and remember one vital thing: it's a show built around a core cast that, for all the life-threatening situations it puts the characters in, will not kill any of them off. To continue writing episodes where the entire premise is that the characters must creatively rescue the others from life-and-death situations is therefore nothing but wasteful.
   Problematically for me this was a very good version of that rubbish Scorpion custom, with Paige and Happy suspended 100 feet or so in midair on a gondola whose cable is about to break and take them to their deaths. Creativity was key, especially when it came time for Paige and Happy to try and climb up the cable so Cabe could shoot the gondola off and reduce the weight: the cable was covered in grease which meant they would fall in seconds. How to stop them? By electrocuting them just enough that their muscles contracted and they physically couldn't let go of the cable. I mean, maybe I'm wrong but I still don't think that would have an effect on the slippiness of grease, but hey, Scorpion's general implausibility is one of its attractive features so I'll run with it.
   The underlying humour came from a war between Walter, Sly and Cabe, all of whom continued to try and convince Toby they would make the perfect best man. In the end he chose Paige to be his best ma'am, leaving Happy to select all 3 of the boys as her dudes of honour.
   It's also worth mentioning how this episode bought time for Paige and Happy to have an argument of their own, with Paige feeling that Happy doesn't treat her with respect. It was a stellar scene delivered well by Kat McPhee - you could feel how angry she was.
   Just like how angry I am that Scorpion did this stupid characters-we'll-never-kill-on-the-edge-of-death trope again.
   VIEWERS: 6.46m
   DEMOGRAPHIC SHARE: 1.1

VERDICT: A more enjoyable episode than "Ice-Ca-Cabes" with some heartfelt moments and typical humour, but really? Can it stop now, please. 7.5/10


Scorpion - 3x21 "Rock Block"

"The team collect a space asteroid for the country of Hechnia, but when they discover it may be carrying deadly pathogens they have to defy a government and stop them opening the capsule."

I was pleasantly surprised with "Rock Block" for being better than I expected. It was set to be fairly good - the guest cast list included Christopher Heyerdahl (who was used properly as President Korsovich, rather than misused as he was on MacGyver), Carlo Rota and Reiko Aylesworth, who returned as Cabe's thought-to-be-gone love interest Allie. She passed Cabe intel that her boss Patel had taken bribes in order to ascend to the West Altadenia aldermanship, and in doing so eventually gave Cabe reason (after some tough love from Sly) to continue pursuing her again. Considering I'd not expected to see Allie again, this is a nice about-turn.
   Plot-wise, it was fun to see Scorpion go through a much different type of structure: after actually succeeding in collecting the asteroid in its space capsule as it free-fell to earth, the plot switched to the potential for Hechnia to release a deadly, unknown pathogen if the capsule was opened. The General wanted to in spite of the risks because of how the palladium in the asteroid would help Hechnia's national GDP, but President Korsovich furtively aided Scorpion in burning the asteroid to dust to protect the country. Everything turned good in the end, however, as the US made a trade deal with Hechnia over rights to asteroids in the future.
Scorpion all agree to take a six-figure mission
to recover an asteroid
   Meanwhile, Toby and Happy's wedding arrangements were in full swing. While they were trying out the freebies from different venues, Cabe was sorting out table decorations and Walter arranged music ("Head bone connects to the ..." since it's medicine-related for Toby and mechanically-inclined for Happy - they now have to play this at the wedding or I'll be disappointed). These were all typically humorous as they led to an end point, leaving one question left: when will #Waige become a thing? 
   VIEWERS: 6.40m
   DEMOGRAPHIC SHARE: 1.0

VERDICT: Typical humour infused with good writing and an above average number of excellent guest stars. 8.5/10


Scorpion - 3x22 "Strife on Mars"

"As the team prepares for Toby and Happy's bachelor(ette) party, Scorpion are commissioned to fix a generator in a biodome that replicates the climate on Mars."

OK. Biodome. Not relevant. No one cares. Good plot. Gotta skip on.
   Toby and Happy bachelor(ette) party. Funny. Awesome.
   But #Waige? What even happened here?
   The introductory "previously on Scorpion" had interesting reminders of 3x03 "It Isn't The Fall That Kills You", when Walter got stuck in space and hallucinated Paige, to whom he admitted his love. When things in the biodome spiralled, Walter's memories of these hallucinations were triggered by his olfactory senses, and he spent a large portion of the episode confused as to why he remembered this so vividly if Paige wasn't there - and why had she admitted she loved him? But his response, after some serious thought, was nothing if short of horrifying (read classic) Walter O'Brien.
   He fired Paige.
   And did so under the pretence that her job to help him connect more with regular people was complete.
Cabe and Sly in Toby and Happy pinata masks
   This after Ralph suggested to his mum that she consider her own romantic feelings for Walter.
   Even Sherlock over in Elementary isn't this bad at dealing with people!
   Of course, Paige reacted with utter contempt and stormed out, leaving me wondering if Walter sourcing a job for her at occasional taskmaster and tech mogul Richard Elia's company was insult to injury. But it certainly leaves Scorpion in a precarious situation.
   I do wonder if this is building to a Castle-esque situation, whereby the situation between the main love interests builds to a climax that can only be solved by them splitting apart or getting together. I feel this is where #Waige is right now. But to do that Walter will have to admit he acted emotionally in firing Paige, something he probably doesn't even understand he did.
   VIEWERS: 6.59m
   DEMOGRAPHIC SHARE: 1.1

VERDICT: An above-average entry with a total "what the hell" moment at the end. Incredible and unexpected cliffhanger. 8/10

Scorpion - 3x23 "Something Burrowed, Something Blew"

"Walter takes a last-minute job that threatens the entire West coastline just hours before Toby and Happy's wedding."

The plot of "Something Burrowed, Something Blew" (see an underground coal fire that threatens to shut down electrical systems along the West coast) was one of the better plots of the season, but it served as a simple detour from the main meat of the episode, which was would Happy and Toby get to their San José wedding in time, or would they miss it and have to conduct an impromptu ceremony in the one place Happy specifically stated she did not wish to locate her wedding: Kawelski's car park? Well, it wouldn't be very dramatic if they made it, so Kawelski's it was!
   To Paige's credit, she did a superb job of dressing up the car park and found a beautiful dress for Happy in only 2 hours, but the wedding's success was dependent on that unorthodox minister, ex-fireman and season 2's recurring character Ray (Kevin Weisman), who had been hired as Scorpion's organiser following Paige's dismissal. Paige's return was, of course, less than cordial in terms of her and Walter's reunion, but it was Ralph who had some of the best moments of the episode (and there were a lot), by confronting Walter on numerous occasions for hurting his mum. Yes Ralph!
   That all came to a head during the wedding, however; after uneven but endearing conduct from Ray, Toby and Happy became Mr and Mrs Curtis/Quinn, while Walter finally admitted to Paige in a wonderfully confused Walter-esque speech that he loved her - and Paige said it back.
   #WAIGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Paige and Walter get caught in the Kawelski's utility closet
   The shot switched back to Toby and Happy, and "Mr Perv" suggested they sneak away for some impromptu loving, which "Mrs Perv" happily agreed to. Only Walter and Paige were already at it and, following an embarrassing but brilliant scene in which everyone appeared one-by-one to catch them in the act, they returned to their business.
   The final clip then leads us into what will serve as a two-episode arc to close out the season: as Scorpion take off for a job/free honeymoon in Tahiti, their plane begins to fail and will crash on a deserted island. I like where this season is ending and I like this episode too.
   Also, how about Toby's tux matching the one Eddie Kaye Thomas wore for his prom scenes in the first American Pie film? Nice reference.
   VIEWERS: 7.11m
   DEMOGRAPHIC SHARE: 1.1

VERDICT: A good plot, punchlines stronger than the ramifications of letting the underground fire burn and the moment everyone has been waiting for: #WAIGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 9.5/10


Scorpion - 3x24 "Maroon 8"

"Scorpion are marooned on a deserted island."

Following on from the cliffhanger of the previous episode, Scorpion are headed to Tahiti on another job/free honeymoon when their plane begins to fail. Much of the first ten minutes or so is spent ensuring that the crash, which can't be prevented, won't be fatal, and for Scorpion it isn't; for pilot Scotty it very nearly is. There's more inventive solutions to life-threatening situations here than on MacGyver, a show built on its inventive off-the-cuff solutions. Scotty is saved from toxin build-up from a crush injury and also internal bleeding (in fairness, it's only possible due to the coincidentally useful wedding presents the team bought for Toby and Happy, though I'm willing to skip over that since the presents were very characteristic).
   Scotty's life saved, thoughts are only of getting rescue (aside from Sly, who in a hilarious turn of events has adopted a fatalistic outlook that gives him a shocking fearlessness). Their window for rescue shortens when a passing Japanese shipping vessel begins to change course, but the flare doesn't manage to attract its attention in time, leaving Scorpion abandoned on a deserted island. To highlight the length of time passed, the show then cuts to three weeks later, where Scorpion have survived relatively well, though some (especially Sly) are starting to go crazy.
   The character beats were centred around our two main relationships: #Quintis and #Waige. Toby is horrified at learning so much about Happy's previously nomadic past, including that she used to date Jake Gyllenhaal. Meanwhile, Walter's romantic gestures to Paige are extreme; not the actual gestures (such as giving her a flower), but in his constant references to their love ie "My little arrhythmia" (because she makes his heart skip a beat), and calling her his soulmate. It's quite difficult to watch, but it's indicative of and complementary towards his lack of emotional understanding. It doesn't appear it will change though, for even three weeks in he remains doing this ("my little asthma" - because she takes his breath away).
   VIEWERS: 7.34m
   DEMOGRAPHIC SHARE: 1.1

VERDICT: All of the usual first-landing-on-a-deserted-island stuff took place. They were more interesting than usual and the dynamics were fun, but some parts were difficult to watch. 8.5/10


Scorpion - 3x25 "Scorp Family Robinson"

"After 3 weeks, Scorpion struggle to maintain morale and think of ways to escape the island."

Proper Scorpion disagreements and discord hasn't really ever been a thing beyond subplots, but after 3 weeks on a deserted island the stress of maybe they won't get home is getting to everyone. Sly's gone nuts and spent increasingly more time in the bunker talking to a lizard, Toby's resorted to wearing nought but a loincloth and his trademark hat, Happy's down to her elf costume for different clothing, Paige is getting grumpier and grumpier as the cook; Cabe, Ralph and Walter remain the most level-headed of them all.
  Thoughts turn once more to methods of escaping the island: Toby wants to build a raft while Walter wants to create a disturbance in the Earth's magnetic field to attract investigators; the core romantic relationships in #Waige and #Quintis are rocked when Happy sides with Walter and Paige with Toby; but it's Sly who holds the ultimate card by hiding the radio part both teams need - that is, until Ralph goes off alone and causes the disturbance himself.
   I didn't understand the science involved, but after he created the disturbance and investigators came, Scorpion managed to light the S in their SOS sign just in time for the planes to see it and rescue them. Cue everyone back at the garage and - following a hilarious rendition of Happy's single she released in Portugal years ago - everyone split off, leaving Walter and Paige to enjoy a proper first night alone together. And with that, we lead into season 4.
   Buckle up, nerds.
   VIEWERS: 7.74m
   DEMOGRAPHIC SHARE: 1.2

VERDICT: There's only one problem with this episode, which is once you recognise the beach made up to be the deserted island is the same beach in 1x12 where Scorpion saved a young boy caught in a sinkhole, you can't unsee it. 8.5/10

QUOTES OF THE WEEK

WEEK THIRTEEN --- Toby (partway through the rescue): "So tar, so good!"

WEEK FOURTEEN --- Happy (on her elf outfit): "If anyone takes a picture of me in this get-up, I'm gonna roast your chestnuts on an open fire."

WEEK NINETEEN --- Paige (after finding the stolen money her mum left her): "Guys ... I'm gonna need help opening an offshore account ..."

WEEK THIRTY-THREE --- Ralph (to Walter): "You're lucky I'm a kid. If I was bigger, I would fight you. You hurt my mother."

WEEK THIRTY-FOUR --- Toby: "A water channel? HB-OceanSea-BS. Sea-W?"

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